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Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I NEED ENERGY!!!!!! I've been working on my thesis proposal...deadline's on FRIDAY. but I can't think properly!!! All I want is to sleep. But i'm so much of a pig already. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME. -.- I'm really frustrated cos I've got deadlines to meet but I feel like I need a good break to get my brains working again! Okay. So I shall. I'll head to bed after blogging this entry. .............................. I've been thinking a while about being with a person for the rest of my life. You know there's a group of people that says 'nothing matters - not wealth, not education, not looks - as long as I love that person, anything goes'. And there's another group that says 'everything matters - wealth, education, family background, clean history, good looks, dress well, etc etc - as long as I find this in a man, I will love him'. I'd say the former is an idealist, very much liberal in expectations. While the latter is a pragmatic, very much traditional and conservative. As for me, I'm at neither ends of the spectrum. But I'm probably 70% pragmatic/conservative and 30% idealistic/liberal about love. It is very natural for a woman (at least in the Asian context) to look at a man's background before deciding on whether he can be loved or not. This may scare some guys off, but the basis of this is a woman's need to feel secure. And if you're talking about marriage for life, we are talking about the ability to support the entire nuclear family AT LEAST, which reads the wife AND kids. Different women have different ways of feeling secure. To one, a man's finances can make them secure because in life material things have to be bought with money. To the other, a man's drive to succeed in life gives them security about the future. So even if he is a pauper today, it is alright because given the genuine desire to succeed in life and with the right networks, there's confidence that he will surely have a bright future. Etc, etc. But most women have a combination of ways to feeling secure...that's why women are complex creatures! Wahahaha! However, I don't deny that an increasing number of women do not have such considerations now, and I too don't deny that there's something called love at first sight. Yet, I still believe that women's nature is the desire to be protected by a man. Therefore wanting to feel secure. And therefore having certain expectations about a boyfriend or husband before deciding if he can be loved. As for me, I am traditional in my views on marriage. I always believe that the man is the head of the family, and as a woman I have to submit to my future husband. Therefore, I got to have the assurance that the man is someone worthy of my submission and respect - someone I can flow and work with as a 'co-laborer' as the Bible puts it - before deciding to go on a relationship or even talk about marriage with him. And that's why i'm a 70-30. Hahaha! To feel secure is to feel love. :) Being more of a pragmatist has it down sides too. I have to constantly remind myself not to raise my expectations too high. But to be very honest, I really think that my expectations are not high at all! I do self-evaluation from time to time to make sure my expectations always remain reasonable. And so, I believe the only thing left to do is to wait. And to expand my social circle. While alot of people believe in the 'one and only one' or 'Mr. Right' concept, I do not. There is no one perfect man or woman that God made just for us. God gives us the liberty to choose who we want to be with, as long as it is not out of God's will. I used to have the wrong mindset about this aspect, but thank God that I've been enlightened. :) Labels: contemplative, daily rantings 11:43 PM
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