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Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friends = Investment? (Part II) I believe that over the years, especially the recent year as I step into church (note the irony), I have been taken advantage of my kindness, my trust and openness towards others. I've been misunderstood for my own way of relating to others. I've been brushed aside as someone that "doesn't understand". Things that I would never have to encounter...if I have never involved myself so greatly in church. Inviting trouble into my own life? Not really. I think i can understand why this irony exist. In a world that only looks for selfish gains, including love ("give me" attitude rather than "give others"), the very reason why people step into church and expect to be provided with those things is understandable. At least to me. The church of Jesus Christ promised its believers that it has the answers to all that is missing in their life. The church has love when the believer can't find love. The church has faith when the believer lost all faith in the things of the world. The church has truth, and does things according to godly principles...when the world work with lies and deceit to survive. Etc. etc. Personally i take it as a challenge and something that God has put me to the test. Before i stepped into church and truly get myself involved with serving people, i never befriended people that were hurting or had a less than perfect personal history. My circle of friends were among the more affluent, the intellectuals, those that tend to have less of a problem with life. Perhaps we would whine about life now and then, but it's always in a different angle than when I see a church friend struggling over certain issues, now that I know more people from different walks of life. Getting to know people from different walks of life interests me alot. And i'm glad i get to do that because of church. Yet, it comes with a price. A risk I must take. A risk which I took. Why? Because I AM the church of Jesus Christ. Just the last week alone, a few persons around me have caused my spirit to be grieved. To be seeing what I saw in the church of God, I felt it was very unbecoming of them to be so immature in their attitudes. I was disappointed, angry on the inside, and very hurt. On the other hand, I felt that ALL of these were meant for me. According to God's plan to mold me. The moment I decided to step into church 4 years ago, I have decided to be committed and discipled in the ways of Jesus...that includes loving the hard-to-love, putting trust and faith in those that don't believe in themselves. And I was reminded of every bit of these even when I couldn't get over the grieving. My spirit was willing to do the right thing, but my flesh was weak. Most of the time, people hurt others because they themselves are hurt. I thought of it that way. But still....I need time. Time heals wounds. And God Himself of course. I couldn't have bore this without His strength in my life...He is the reason why I'm going through all this. Willingly... ---------------- Sometimes I wonder - am I too fragile and lacking that toughness in me to be facing all this? I think I am quite green to such issues as I've hardly encountered them among my primary/sec/JC good friends. I always...ALWAYS...befriend someone from my heart. But if that friendship isn't mutual...I don't know. I guess I'll be very sad. But the fact that what they did was not right and therefore need to be transformed with God's love still stand...and as much as I can, I hope to do that for them. I don't know how....but I'm just praying. Labels: contemplative 5:50 PM
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