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Monday, January 25, 2010
Me, Myself and I (part 2) Me, Myself and I (part 2) Part 2 would be about how I might have tipped the balance of loving my personal space a little too much. I find that perhaps as I grow up or as I encounter more challenges while growing up, I become more solitary...or should I say, I increasingly prefer to be solitary? I have honestly asked myself whether this is healthy for me. And I honestly doubt so. The big question: WHY am I like that? Sigh. Beats me. Do I think this way of thinking is prosperous for my soul? No, I don't think this is the best for my soul, nor do I think this is what God has in store for me as in "the best". Am I, perhaps escaping from something that I don't want to face? Am I making way for myself to be lazy & settle down to be a procrastinator? Or is this due to a slight change in personality? I think I'd grow psychological if I continue thinking like this. I might have to see a psychologist in order to get all these thoughts straightened out. Talking about psychologists, the next question that comes to mind is: Am I depressed? HAHAHA.... Well. If I'm not depressed enough to see a doctor, then I should not give it too much attention yeah? Anyway, I strongly believe I wouldn't be frequently sucked into this messy mental state if not for God in my life. Don't get me wrong....I'm not saying this because I blame God. I'm saying this because certain things wouldn't never happen if God didn't allow them to. It's those things that make me mental, but it's also those same things that help me to grow more mature and stronger as a person & also in God. Thus, I have made it a point to break that inclination to be solitary and just mingle. Especially when those are the people I am SUPPOSED to mingle with. Like the trustworthy ones, the close ones, the loved ones. My inner circle. Might have given in to solitariness a few times...but I'll keep on making the effort to strike the balance. How strong can I become? Well, it depends on how strong I BELIEVE I can become...meanwhile, keep heads up. Keep breathing, keep alive and "just keep swimmin'!" Labels: contemplative 10:23 PM
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