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Friday, October 30, 2009



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3:19 PM


My dad has this really cool device he bought for 3 or 400 bucks tt allows us to ahem ahem ahem....YAY!!! That's how we get our Chinese movies and Dramas.

Anyway, something interesting I read off a friend's FB status. http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Tech%2Band%2BScience/Story/STIStory_447509.html

The next thing to share? Elva Hsiao's latest album #1 song for the hit charts. Gets into your head after a while, don't you think? =\ It isn't that impressionable on the first hearing. After that, the chorus keeps repeating. It's the rhythm.



I think Elva Hsiao is the cross between East and West. Pretty cool. Her dance is getting more and more groovy. I like!

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1:35 AM

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Got most of the stuff for Thriller! prepared for my side....it's gonna be fun! =)

I just finished watching 1 Chinese movie by director Chen KaiGe with my parents. I love directors in the same league as him - eg. Peter Chen, Zhang Yi Mou, Lee Ang, Tsai Ming Liang, etc....

I love Chinese (as in Mainland Chinese to be specific) movies and dramas because they make you think. And I love to think. Lol. I'm a typical Chinese brought up in a traditional Chinese family. =p Well, sorta.

I am not done with thinking through the significance in the movie. But I'm very tired and I should sleep soon because I HAVE CLASS AT 9AM TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

I'm also catching a drama with my parents called 潜伏. Heard the male lead actor got some prestigious award. Cool man. I love the acting (so natural, not fake like Taiwan and Korea and Jap). I love the plot. He is a spy working for the communist party but has a high position inside the Kuomingtang secret agency. Uber cool show.

TATA!

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2:07 AM

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

It's 3am and I'm still awake. Haha...oh well. No school on wednesdays. =)

My parents are flying off to HK soon for about a week. Somehow I can't bear to see them being away from home. It's weird because I was never this attached to them ever. But lately, I am more comfortable being around them. Maybe because I put in effort to bring greater interaction which resulted greater bonding. Hmm I am glad it turned out this way. =)

To me, there is a great distance between the ideal relationship I have in mind with my parents, and the reality. So I hope that one day, I am able to close up this gap entirely. =) I always feel that I can do more for people around me.

I had one revelation this morning. I was listening to a very old (2 years old?) sermon by Pastor Kong about Marriage, Mortgage and Money. It was a very good lesson revised. He talks about budgeting, about money NOT being the root of all evil and how the #1 killer to marriages today is $$$.

It suddenly dawned upon me that what I say doesn't tally with what I do. Immediately repented and change my way of thinking about the money that is in my hands.

$$$ that is in YOUR hands. Is it yours, or is it really God's?

Yes. I believed my money was from God, that He provided for me. BUT. Something in me was not right with God.

I was not being a cheerful giver. I failed to see that I am a mere steward of God.

Example. Seeing a favourite dress I want to buy, versus putting that money to help others (being very vague here, intentionally and unintentionally), sometimes I would choose to continue with the purchase of my dress. Because I thought, "I sacrifice so much already towards God. Should be enough already. I give more than most Christians who don't even tithe or give offering. Should be good enough already, because I fulfilled the number one principle in the Bible - Tithing and Offering. That is required of me and I obeyed it. I have fulfilled my call of duty as a Christian. So I have my right to spend everything after giving my tithe and offering. Right God?

Hmmm.

May be right. But that's definitely not what a mature Christian will do or think! A mature Christian, like apostle Paul said, will divide his/her property and share it among fellow bros and sis in Christ who are in need. Some people think that is madness. Or some label it communism. LOL. But hey, that's exactly what differentiates a young Christian from a mature one! Committing to follow every principle written in the Bible.

Maturity does not come with age, nor does it come with how long you have been attending church as a Christian. Maturity comes with the acceptance of responsibility. We have heard this many times, because God cannot use irresponsible, unstable people as His vessels. So my revelation in this context would be that maturity comes when we assume responsibility of sharing our finances with those in need. It may not refer to the poor and sick all the time, but it includes the others around us. Sharing our finances = sharing of our lives.

But sadly, not many are capable of doing/seeing that. Because that's human nature. We are all selfish people. We prefer to think we earn our own keeping, and don't see why should we sacrifice it until so far. But Jesus said "Freely you have received, freely GIVE". In ALL things....not just spiritual gifts!

So right now, I don't bear grudges anymore when I have to use my finances to help those in need of my financial help. I don't complain inside my heart to God any longer, because I know what I have God has lent it unto me; anytime He requires of it, He has the right to take it away. And so, I should be willing to release it as a blessing to others. =) That's my heart's priority - to be of help to others.

Thinking in this way, the heart no longer clings so tightly on the money issue of my life. =) It feels great to be released and more relaxed about money issues. Knowing that when we bless others, we get blessed back. =) It's awesome.

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3:17 AM

Monday, October 26, 2009

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11:51 PM

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I'm HUNGRY.

I really don't like working in a GROUP. I prefer working as a TEAM. For your information, there is a difference in meaning between these two terms. HR jargon.

But seems like the more I'm nearing my graduation and transiting into the workforce, the more I'm experiencing GROUP work. Which I don't like. But I am living with it because in life, sorry it is unfair and we do things we don't like. Too bad.

But at least...I'm a responsible group member. My standard won't drop just because it is group work not team work. I hope it doesn't! Hahaha.

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7:17 PM


Im at a busstop in yishun waiting. heading home after a white run one time (bai pao yi tang). went there to visit two peeps staying there. but i would not say it is really futile because people r so weird. they dont know how to reject outrightly. so unless i come down, which "forces" them to either reject me or welcome me, then they will tell u that they aint interested.

CAN WE HUMANS NOT BE SO EMOTIONALLY SHUTDOWN AND JUST REJECT.

Studies hv shown that most Singaporeans hate confrontations which include rejection, disagreements, correcting others. I dont want to be like that. i want to break that kind of culture. i hate uncertainty and such culture promotes uncertainty when it does not have to be so. agree?

Anyway, i am very relieved. now i know their blood is NOT in my hands. i did what i could bcos i was placed responsible over them. now, i am able to account to the Big Boss in Heaven that i did my part. Im freeeee! weeee.

Be harsh on yourself and give grace to others. This is how we should lead the Self.

Dont expect to be a leader if u cant even lead yourself. This is always my reminder. Hope everyone of us can remind ourselves with this and realize how much lesser we really are than we think we are.

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4:20 PM

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Haven't had much mood to blog recently coz of various reasons. Not necessarily a bad thing, as I always will say.

I'm right now sitting on the 10th floor of a HDB flat at Yishun...have been waiting for a long time but using my netbook at the same time so I thought I could blog. I'm super frustrated over the MS Office MS word. It's just not working properly on this netbook!!! I bought this netbook with the MAIN reason that I want to use it to do my school work in Microsoft Word on the go....but it's not opening up even though I've uninstalled the trial version and installed the proper one! Gosh.....

So that's why I end up blogging instead of working. Not going to spend any more time waiting....going to knock on the P6's door, if she isn't home, I'm going home. Need to complete 2 chapters of editting before submission this week! Doable by tonight. Yes.

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5:16 PM

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Exercise is good for the health and brain. I noticed that I become more efficient going around daily tasks and it feels good.

Today, I went to East Coast park to bowl and cycle with the cell group and W425, along with 2 friends. It was a great feeling to be riding! Fun + Nice scenery + Stimulation of the 5 senses in nature. I should do this more often instead of cooping myself at home all the time! Sometimes, I don't open the windows and stuff coz I feel alright with it. I don't feel stuffy despite the poor ventilation. Haha. I think that is not very good? =x It's not. Hahaha.

Regarding the purchase of the violin, I've decided to put on hold first. It's not everytime your teacher offers to pick a violin for you right? =D But mine did! He said he would go down personally to test the violin I reserved (but would have to cancel reservation as he wouldn't be in town till November....my reservation would have ended by this Wednesday). AND, he would source out other violins in the showroom if there are any better violins. Weeee! I'm blessed to have such a nice violin teacher!!!! I'd definitely rather trust his opinion than my own!

I'm trying my best to listen to sermons daily. At least ONE per day. I haven't been very successful so far coz I have limited sermons. But I will try out podcasting free sermons. I need the time to learn how to do it and to actually do it. haha.

It's 5 minutes into MONDAY! Got a whole day of lecture and project meeting....recently very packed with project meetings. Sigh when am I going to restart my dissertation?! I'm quite worried about it.

Pray pray pray. After the prayer week, I'm changed on the inside....more meditation, more praying in tongues, more energy to GIVE, more confidence in preaching as a leader, more of everything good. Lord, You are simply amazing. And I need to keep up this lifestyle! Yes, by listening to AT LEAST ONE sermon per day! I'm heading back to Bible Study on wednesdays at Riverwalk soon. If not this week, then next week. I need to feed myself more before I can feed more to others!

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11:58 PM

Saturday, October 17, 2009



Top 10 Beauty Pageant Scandals in History of America

(this is a link. u can click this)




The world today does not have a definition or clear concept of what true beauty is. The world is in pursuit for it, but it does not know WHERE or HOW to look for it. Even if true beauty is found, they probably despised it.



If integrity can find itself into the beauty pageant, it is definitely the most ideal. But what about those cases when integrity couldn't find itself into the beauty pageant?

Is true beauty is a matter of convenience, and not conviction in beauty pageants?

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9:31 PM






Christoph Leissmiller
Germany, Mittenwald anno 1783
Price: $41,000
































HAHAHA I WISH.



Mine (to-be-mine) is this one below:







Antonin Dvorak Model: 02



Handcrafted in Luby of Czech Tradition
Czech Republic

Dark amber shaded finish of hand-applied varnish, nice flame which produces an excellent response.

For Orchestra and Serious Players.
Complete with Oblong Case, Bow & Rosin.
Setup with Dominant Strings.

With Certificate
Price: $890 (*starts smiling to myself*)



Why am I settling for this violin?
(1) The sound is superb, the workmanship also very good. Can see from picture right? =)
(2) The sound is the type that I want (mellow, but not too mellow. I want a little brightness in the sound)
(3) SUPER VALUE FOR MONEY. Even cheaper than my current violin.
(4) This Violin's performance is even better than my current one, which is made in PRC, China. And mine was bought at $1,100 8 or 9 years ago?!?! O.o feeling ripped off already lor. My parents bought that for me so I didn't have a say in the type of violin I wanted. Anyway, I was too young and inexperienced then to know how to choose a good violin. Shrug.
(5) I consulted my tutor, Mr Yang, and he said this violin is good. According to the person in the violin showroom, Mr Yang tested this violin and liked it. So I guess it was some time recent? If not such a good violin would have been snapped up already!


Now it's still my parents paying for it. Hahaha. But I chose the Violin myself. =) Happy!
[NB: It's important for the violin player to like the sound from his violin.]



All information and picture taken from Gramercy Music. It is the place (I'm not sure whether the ONLY place, or if it's ONE of the few places) that the Singapore Symphony Orchestra (SSO) go to purchase violins for their orchestra. Cool rightttttt? =D My tutor Mr Yang who is a violist in SSO sources for violins from this shop for the orchestra. Guess the $8k+ violins that are "sold out" on the website were purchased by SSO la. Power.



Going down on Wednesday to purchase it. They have kindly reserved it for me until next Wednesday. Weeeee!!!!!










































The casing looks awesome ain't it! Free with bow and good quality strings. This is definitely a buy I will never forget!














[By the way, I met Celine who came for the Roland Seafood Steamboat long time ago! She is still happily working there. Awesome place actually!]

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12:29 AM

Thursday, October 15, 2009

I wish....

Prayer week will go on every weekday. Can it please? At least have the evening one la. Cos sometimes morning reaaalllly......=\ hahaha. Need to put in 200% effort to wake up man. That one once every 2 months is fine with me.

I have this fearful thought that all these never-before revelations will end as prayer week ends....I don't waaaaant!!!! I want it to go on forever and ever and ever....to be so utterly soaked in Your presence, to be praying until my saliva is dry, to be feeling so close walking with You, to receive so many revelations that are so timely it's a personal encounter every single day!!! God, I need a life like this! I NEED!!! NEED.

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10:40 PM

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

On a long bus ride again. Part 2 is more on the Christian perspective.

The Bible is always encouraging people to stand up and stand out. God especially lovessss to ask the "hopeless", the "least expected" ppl to stand out. Joshua the young chap, David also young lad who nobody took seriously, Joseph as a young boy who only know how to daydream, Paul who is a hopeless antiJesus guy who became an apostle of God, and e list goes on.If anything, the Bible is hope for the hopeless. aint it?

We may feel like we r "hopeless cases"...it can be ppl labelling us as that, or we r our own labellers. We think we wont amount to anything good and successful in life. but truly the Bible says if we trust Him to take over, He can make our destinies great. If we believe, there's nothing to it!

Today at morning prayer mtg, pst Zhuang ministered to us, reminding us once again how GREAT is our God. In size, in intelligence, in wisdom, in authority and power, in love and righteousness, in justice and wealth. It is human tendency to forget what we do not see. When we r buried by problems and tribulations, we forget that the God we believe in is a God greater than e universe, the entire solar system (or systemS?). Bcos He is not smth our natural mind can conceive, all the more easier to forget that.He holds all power to make things possible. Only if we BELIEVE. And believe *long enough*. tts the keyword. faith in God is like running a marathon.

The one who holds that faith and trust in God for the longest wins. Sadly, not everyone completes the race. Most started it thinking its gg to be a 100m, 200m, 400m, 800m, 2.4km race. But its not. A marathon is much longer. Much, much, much longer.

Lets hold out while we can. If we want to live out our purpose (we r made to stand out from birth) 100%, lets go 100% for God!

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12:17 AM

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Blogging on the go again.

Today i heard a great sermon from pastor as always. its about Job. :)

Pst talked about how unfairness is present in reality and we got to face the facts. there is a purpose in unfairness, just as how there is a purpose in a tough life. a tough life makes us stronger, but when u face unfairness and still can praise God in spite of that, you become BROKEN towards God. that is like one level above becoming strong. :)

I rmb a question asked by one of my besties when we were young. she asked why is life unfair. her mum told her "life is never fair". i still rmb this because of her mum's unique response. and now, i know why life is never fair. like finally! hahaha. so much wisdom in aunty's reply.

I felt today's sermon spoke to me extensively. Its one level to be blameless, but another level to be broken towards God. i rmb the time when i was blameless...i had been blameless and i experienced Job chapter1. But now, im moving towards brokenness (perfection in Christ). amen!

Sometimes, there is no explanation to offer when u ask why this or that is happening. life is unfair. but God never puts us thru tribulations for nothing, or worse, impose a sadistic nature towards His creation. some ppl think God being God, can do anything and everything including doing evil stuff to humans. lol. if u really really know God, tts furthest from the truth.

Job 23:10 have been staring at me all these while even before pst preached abt it today. haha. its my notebook tt i use for recording notes at cg and svc. :) i feel God speaking to me.

I just want to say, im thankful to Him for assuring me in ways like this (hearing a sermon that is tailor made for me it seems almost). though im facing challenges and struggles alone (its an individual battle), im never really alone. i have never been alone for God is with me, and dust i was formed, in the form of dust i shall leave...

Pst said one thing absolutely right. if we believe God is our source of everything and tt we r really just His stewards, we will nv have a problem with giving to God and His kingdom. because everything is essentially loaned to us - our wealth, assets, talents, 4 limbs and every organ on us, our friends, our influence, ....

Oh God is good. Im in the best church God wants me to be in. Im walking the path He is leading me on. Thats all i ask for! :)

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3:13 PM

Saturday, October 10, 2009
















I have a dream and I hope God will fulfill it for me. I hope this dream will be part of His plan for my life.

I'm going to pray hard for it to come to pass! My dream job. My CAREER, not just a job...Saatchi and Ogilvy and Mathers are among the world top 50 advertising and PR firms. And there is a reason why they are in the top 50....because they have a really good corporate culture and learning environment. Both nurtures creativity from wild ideas. I like an unstifling environment. Even before I went into the university, in fact as far back as Secondary school, I already sieved out my career interests....I wanted to go into marketing and advertising. That was probably the only thing out of all the other things that I wanted to do that was viable as a job in real life (others include environmentalist, study music to become musician, a singer, a model, a music composer, etc.)

Events planning and management, is probably something of a branch out of marketing/advertising. Both are related but innately different. Given the choice - for passion and for pragmatic reasons - I would go for a career in marketing/advertising.

After 6 years and counting, I'm sticking to my initial career choice. I think, the fact that I still remember this career choice which I made in my younger days prove that I really do have a thing for it. Ain't it so? Hmm.

I will work hard and pray hard and hope that God will approve. Haha. If He approves, there's nothing else to it! Previously I felt it was a little bit far-fetched to think about jumping from construction industry to the marketing side....so I never seriously entertained the thoughts of making marketing and advertising my career choice. But I guess, if the dream is not big enough, it isn't really a dream right? =P

Hope I won't have to miss career talks by these two companies when they come in to NUS next semester anymore. T.T I hope that they will come in again next semester!! Missed it this year coz of cell group. God will honor me when I honor Him first!!

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1:50 AM

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Those people whom I trust, my ears will be opened to their criticisms (or praises) about me 100%. I will change for the better if they tell me I should change for the better.

Those whom I am hardly acquainted with, or whom I have yet to find a reason to really trust them, I will be selective of their criticisms or praises about me. In fact, I should not be obligated at all to take their comments seriously, whether a praise or a criticism.

Amen.

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1:24 AM

Monday, October 5, 2009

I see my wings flapping o'er the place
But I can't seem to trace the trail of the race
Running too fast, I can't explain
and chased off the plane
took off with the train

You cast me out and take me away
You pulled my face without any disgrace
I lay down my life for you to stay
So stay, stay, stay

Remember those times we laughed and we cried
and sang a new song
till our voices were dry
Goin' out, comin' in
You'd stay right under me and
You'd bring me hope.

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4:41 PM


On the bus and way home. good time for some serious reflection. Named this part I because I THINK.....there will be part II.

I have been thinking about being born and meant to stand out. it isn't recent discovery that there is a social irony, when we as humans like to blend in with our group or community aka. conformity. we all go thru that process, whether we like it or not. yet as humans, we want to feel unique as an individual, we want to know that we have our own value and worth unlike machines tt r manufactured with no identity in its own.

For me, i face this kind of irony too. sometimes, i feel a little too different and too "special" that i dont want to come across as too outstanding. cos sometimes, we have to pay a price of being too outstanding. the price of ppl unable to comprehend why am i like this or that. its not anyone's fault bcos this is a rather logical reaction, but for the person being a little special, life can be easier if we try to bury that outstanding part of us and simply blend in. no explanations required, no need for others to spend the effort and time to get used to someone's personality.

But im starting to question if this is really right. is it right to want to conform in this way, when God has called us to be salt and light (to stand out like a city on a hill tt cannot be hidden)? and is it right when God has made every person unique in weakness and strength even before we have been formed in our mother's womb? how are we going to impact our society if we want to blend in instead of standing out?

There will be a point of confrontation....and im beginning to feel im at the beginning stage of it. i received a really nice card along with yummy gummies yesterday from Lynn who presented it to me after the whole Hossan Leong show. i was touched by her words. she said im someone who isnt afraid to be me even if i appear very aunty and unglam and im totally ok with that. that's true, i admit. but inside of me doubted if it was good or bad thing. haha.

Honestly, im very comfortable with being unglam even when caught on camera or video. u juz have to browse thru my facebook pics to understand what im saying. but at the same time, i noe that isnt a very attractive trait to most guys nor is it a good way of presenting myself in church. tts y i really dont like to be filmed or snapped during church svc or formal sessions like prayer meetings and stuff when i tend to become more self-conscious. i mean, in the throne of God, u only have beautiful ppl right? but of course thats relative. i hope im not pactising double standards by doing this. lol.

And i believe for most guys, they r first attracted by looks and then personality. so being "myself" in that sense isnt always a good thing right? lol. but i must say tt i do have times when i care to dress up but only during church at weekends, and when im going town area to meet friends. hmmmm.

Ok, to just put it simply, when i care to glam up, i do glam up. but other times when im not required to glam up, you will c a super umglam aunty who goes for comfort wear cos tts practical. so u guys get the whole picture of me? maybe i shld thank God im not one-dimensional. ah! :p it might all work out if im a guy. hahahaha.

Okokok. when im talking about being born to stand out, it isnt just abt the outward appearance, but also traits in the individual. so lets talk abt that.

1. my musical talents - the variety of music instruments i know how to play
2. my musical talents - inspiration for beautiful melodies and lyrics
3. my creative flair - designing ideas, conceptualizing and marketable ideas. everything except drawing :x
4. my creative flair - knowing how to match clothes and accessories and their color combi to pull off my own style (i go classy most of e time but i admit i need to venture a lil more in my personal style)
5. my contemplating nature - the love of reflecting and how it is a big part in helping me become a better person
6. love to be in my own world - i get energized from isolating myself from the fast moving things, events or mob of ppl around me. i love peacefulness and serenity. i love to notice the things that ppl often miss. (disadvantage: tend to stone too much)

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11:58 AM


1. Woke up early for church and reached at 9am. Studied on my way to expo.
2. Church service
3. Designed for 18th Oct outreach invitation cards
4. Met up with N119 and W280 peeps to go to JJ's grandma's wake
5. Went to Cheryl's new house for steamboat (informal house warming) dinner
6. Met Lynn for The Hossan Leong's Show! Got give goodie bags somemore. :D
7. Travelled on bus and studied somemore on the way home.
8. Reached home, spent some TV time with parents.
9. In front of my computer now!

Welcoming Monday. Will still need coffee tomorrow, I predict. Better sleep asap!

Saw this on Twitter and it is a timely tweet. Gonna blog about this when I'm ready sometime soon...
Oliver James "Why are we trying so hard to fit in, when you're born to stand out"
1:04 AM

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I realized something. Call it a revelation if you like.

I am doing things I don't like to see myself or others do. That sums up my life now.

I never used to be late for appointments, not to mention oversleep. But now, I'm late for appointments in 3 out of 10 of them (the redeeming trait is that this is improving), but I do tread dangerously on the line of oversleeping still.

I never used to be a late sleeper. To the degree of sleeping at 3,4,5am. But now, I'm struggling to even make myself fall asleep before 3am.

I never used to skip my meals, but now I do quite often and it isn't because I'm fasting.

I never used to spend more than I save, but now I hardly save and I spend most of what I get.

I never used to be slack with exercising and pushing my physical limits. But now? I am not used to doing that anymore.

My room never used to be so disorganized and messy but now, it is one or two levels short of becoming a pigsty.

I never used to be so unconfident when it comes to studies. At least, I would put up a good fight with the books and I'd succeed. But now, I feel my mind is too much over the place and I am no longer the studious girl that I was back in Secondary and JC.

See? That quite explains why even though life is on another level for me now, yet I still feel bugged and I often blame myself for these things I have allowed to make my life corrupted. Those things that made me truly happy from inside out were those which will make me disciplined. This is because I love orderliness. And therefore, although I AM happy now, my happiness is not attributed to the discipline level or orderliness in my life. Because I have none of it.

When I look back, I realize all these happened because I am easily influenced by those around me. As I've mentioned before, it is a double-edged sword personality trait. Therefore, I really need to surround myself with good influence more than the negative ones. Sadly, perhaps it is in the human nature to learn the bad stuff more than the good....I "inherited" the negative influences from those I interact with. And the problem lies with me, not them, because we all have our own imperfections.

I really want to find back the old me, not because I prefer the old wineskin....but that to move on happily with peace in my heart, and in order to be an even bigger giver, I must have the old me that still remains like the foundation when I build everything else upon.

I would love to think of myself as immovable as Christ when it comes to certain healthy beliefs in the area of lifestyle. That is the meaning of becoming the salt and light, to be in the world but not of the world, isn't it?

I need a change for the better...

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10:28 PM


It is better to keep silent than to complain. Once complain, never ends. And as if complaining can solve the situation!

Good night. Need to re-organize, so that I know clearly what I haven't done, what's urgent and what can wait. Priorities!

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2:15 AM

Friday, October 2, 2009

You say it best, when you say nothing at all.

Growing silent.....

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4:05 PM

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