Friendship 101 (part 4) >_<

I think I have too much to say! Haha!

What is in a loving friendship?

There are alot of things in a loving friendship. If there is 1 word to summarize, it will be GIVING/HELPING. But that word is very general (coz it summarizes, duh!). One element I want to really talk about it educating.

I think it is very helpful to harden your hearts towards what is ineffective/not useful for your friends. To put it simpler, educating your friend. By this, I'm not saying we should all be commanders and talk down on our friends. That is super far from what I mean.

In every healthy friendship, there are always things to learn from the other party. Like through my friendship with Weiling, I learnt to have faith and be bold to confess the dreams I wanna achieve. My friendship with Joan makes me want to be very transparent towards friends who are trustworthy. My friendship with Charmaine inspired me to be courageous and draw strength from God even during times of tribulations. I learnt these from my friends. But I believe they also learnt things from me.

If that learning exchange process is not taking place, then it's time to move on to another circle of friends! Because friends are suppose to edify, encourage and exhort! We should be helping each other to become better people. That's what friendships are about.

So when I say "educating", I mean doing it wisely. It doesn't HAVE to be instructive. It can exist in 1001 ways that depends on the dynamics of your friendship.

I am focusing my blog entry part 4 on education, because I really think it is a part that's unknowingly or knowingly missing in friendships. I don't know about you, but I am mindful of the health statuses of my friendships.

As much as I have the tendency to be too much of a pacifist (my weakness), I make it a point to educate and learn from constructive criticisms, even if those criticisms may not be outrightly said out. I do make it a point to read facial expressions and body languages. Because they tell me more than words do. Bad news is, it is inevitable that education will involve some kind of confrontation at some point in time in a friendship. I personally HATE confrontations. But I would force/psycho myself to do what is only right and good for my friends, if that means they need to correct certain things in their lives. I don't always succeed haha. I'm still learning, yes.

Sigh...I hope I am not making myself sound like a friendship guru like the titles I give to my blog entries which are just....for the sake of having a catchy title. Coz the rest of it are words and words are boring for the eyes. Haha.

To be honest, I think I could have been a better friend in many instances. Even right now, I have some friendships which I feel are a little strange/weird/unexplainably hanging in the air. Do I have regrets? Yeah. But the saying is true: It takes 2 hands to clap. One way communication is not called communication.

Anyway, hope my sharing isn't just verbal diorrhea. Hope it is actually a good read for some of you. =)

Labels: friendship 101